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March 29, 2011 / MrsH

More tears for the kids

Missy is working on her life book during therapy sessions.  It will include pictures and a basic narrative of her life story, including the story of her adoption.  It will likely be something she’ll return to over and over again, and we will undoubtedly need to fill in lots of details as she gets older.

During her session today, we sat together and went through all the different places she’s lived and caregivers she’s had.  I think we are her 9th physical home.  As for her caregivers, people have been in and out of her life since the day her mother left to serve in Iraq, when Missy was only 9 months old.  Her therapist kept saying “yes, people left and then they came back, I notice that all these people are still in your life.”  True.  But there’s something about being bonded to a caregiver, one or two, but not whoever happens to be in that role at that time.

I cried.  And when asked about what was going on for me (ugh, I hate that about therapy!) I didn’t really know what to say.  “I wish our family had noticed how terrible this all was sooner?”  “I’m sorry we allowed you to live in such a terrible situation?”  I lamely said “I feel sad.”  If this information makes me cry, then what’s it doing to her?

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