We just told the kids about our finalization date, which is scheduled in two weeks! We can’t believe it, as our understanding was that this court had at least a 6-8 wait time for this. We’re wholly unprepared for this. Our next therapy appointment isn’t even until the day before the date, so no guidance from there. Bummer!
MrH and I are thrilled, so relieved for this long journey of formally adopting the kids is finally over. It’s been 16 months since their birthmother (my sister) made the decision about it, and it’s been very bumpy since then. But now we’re finally here. It’s a little strange feeling. I’m so keenly aware of the inherent sadness in this next step for our family. It’s a forever type of thing and while there’s a wonderful thing in stability, there’s a real grieving for what could have been (primarily for the kids, a little for us). While I want there to be space for those sad, difficult feelings, I also want to share my joy about parenting Missy and Buddy forever. We’ll see what the day ends up looking like for our family…
Buddy ended up falling asleep on MrH’s shoulder during the lead-up, so I’ll have to talk with him tomorrow. Missy had an interesting response. First there was an exuberant “yaaayy!!” As we kept talking though, she started dissociating: “can I play my DS in the court room?” “I just want to play my DS, or watch TV.” When we made it clear that that wasn’t going to happen during the finalization hearing, she suddenly let the sillies loose. She became this goofy, somewhat clumsy kid. And when I said: “I imagine you might have some sad feelings about this too, I don’t really know how you feel, but I’d imagine that” she ended up getting so silly that soup somehow squirted past her glasses and into her eyes. I’m anticipating a stormy few weeks, on top of the stormy spring we’ve been having!